My inner-world is my oyster

“Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially “on,” we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn’t antisocial. It isn’t a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: “I’m okay, you’re okay—in small doses.”
Jonathan Rauch

 

I have frequently been mistaken for being a snob or at worst…painfully shy.  I admit that I prefer my company over the company of others. It’s simply my basic wiring.  I do love socializing but only in spurts.  Afterwards I do need to recharge.

 

I find comfort among my thoughts and dreams.  I revel in my “alone-time.” Both of my jobs, being a civil servant working in a team environment, and a soldier in the U.S. Army Reserves mean constant interaction.  At the end of the day someone like myself needs time alone in order to recollect, reorganize. And yes, it IS as restorative as a good nights sleep!

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If you think you may be an introvert or that someone else might be, you can click here on this website for 23 signs of introversion

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Welfare verses the General Public

I happened on the Hair Braiders suing Missouri regulators article on the St. Louis Post Dispatch early this morning.  A couple of commentators where appalled that there are welfare recipients who will prim and “look good” on the American tax payer’s dime. It happens.  It happens all the time and yes, it angers this blogger as am sure it does other readers and the American public in general to know that when it comes to spending “our money” priorities are not set straight.

For me it’s not about race, it’s not about a certain class. It’s about a person’s mentality, what they feel are their immediate priorities and of course, on what they feel they are entitled to.

I was on welfare while in college however I worked on campus, was in the Army Reserves (still serving) and had a full load of college courses. Indeed those of us who have used welfare need to set our priorities straight. Now I work for Uncle Sam and continue charging forward as a soldier and am giving back to my country and my community by becoming a productive member of society.

My daughter saw me as an example of what a Hispanic woman could do while raising a child without the father and without child support. You have to grasp life by the horns and take charge. Simple as that. I saw welfare only as a temporary assistance when it was needed and it should only be seen as that unless you are elderly or mentally/physically disabled. Welfare should NOT be seen as a way of life, a get out of jail free card. It’s there for a reason but yes, it does get abused.  Yes, my rant goes off topic on what the article is discussing but am more focused on what the comment section has provided to me, the reader.

I do think Hair Braiders should be licensed. It’s a thriving business here in St. Louis and I do love the look. It is also a very tedious process but once completed creates a well-coiffed appearance.

 

Adding meaning to my life

As I approach another birthday (46) I wonder what’s in store for me these next 15 years. Hopefully I can retire by 59 and move to the country with my husband. I hope my daughter finds a great job, a wonderful man, and gives me grandchildren.

I hope I made a small difference in this world. I am no politician, actress, or Pulitzer winning novelist.

What I am is someone’s daughter, someone’s mother, and someone’s wife. And out of these 3 things I hope I’ve given my best and with my daughter, leave a legacy of memories she can pass down to the next generation.

 

“Youth. I don’t seek it through another because I have it within; it’s a state of mind, a spirit that is free, and a mind that is playful. The shell of my being is altered by the effects of time, but nothing will tarnish a soul that will never forget what its like to experience creation with endless wonder and appreciation. Each time I see the first snowfall of the season I feel it’s the first time I’ve seen it at all.”
Donna Lynn Hope

 

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Discrimination has no place in society

Why is it ok for reverse discrimination to take place, for that matter….any type?

 

It’s NEVER ok. I have seen it happen far too many times……I never remain silent.

 

Being of mixed race and my daughter also, I have seen the best and worst in people.

 

Do I condemn every white person for the racism that was thrown at me?

NO.

 

There is so much drama, tragedy and greed in this world WHY add to it?

 

“Once upon a time they was two girls,” I say. “one girl had black skin, one girl had white.”
Mae Mobley look up at me. She listening.
“Little colored girl say to little white girl, ‘How come your skin be so pale?’ White girl say, ‘I don’t know. How come your skin be so black? What you think that mean?’
“But neither one a them little girls knew. So little white girl say, ‘Well, let’s see. You got hair, I got hair.'”I gives Mae Mobley a little tousle on her head.
“Little colored girl say ‘I got a nose, you got a nose.'”I gives her little snout a tweak. She got to reach up and do the same to me.
“Little white girl say, ‘I got toes, you got toes.’ And I do the little thing with her toes, but she can’t get to mine cause I got my white work shoes on.
“‘So we’s the same. Just a different color’, say that little colored girl. The little white girl she agreed and they was friends. The End.”
Baby Girl just look at me. Law, that was a sorry story if I ever heard one. Wasn’t even no plot to it. But Mae Mobley, she smile and say, “Tell it again.”
Kathryn Stockett, The Help

 

“Some white people Hate black people,
and some white people Love black people,
Some black people Hate white people,
and some black people Love white people.
So you see, it’s not an issue of black and white,
it’s an issue of Lovers and Haters.”
― eden ahbez

 

“We can move in that direction as a country, in greater polarization – black people amongst blacks, and white amongst whites, filled with hatred toward one another. Or we can make an effort, as Martin Luther King did, to understand and to comprehend, and replace that violence, that stain of bloodshed that has spread across our land, with an effort to understand, compassion and love…. What we need in the United States is not division; what we need in the United States is not hatred; what we need in the United States is not violence and lawlessness, but is love and wisdom, and compassion toward one another, and a feeling of justice toward those who still suffer within our country, whether they be white or whether they be black.”
Robert F. Kennedy

Solitude is bliss

For someone like myself, freedom in thought, free from the shackles of societal pretense, is as liberating and all-encompassing as to those individuals who find identity in the mob:

 

“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”
Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper

 

“I am a drifter, and as lonely as that can be, it is also remarkably freeing. I will never define myself in terms of anyone else. I will never feel the pressure of peers or the burden of parental expectation. I can view everyone as pieces of a whole, and focus on the whole, not the pieces. I have learned to observe, far better than most people observe. I am not blinded by the past or motivated by the future. I focus on the present because that is where I am destined to live.”
David Levithan, Every Day

 

“Therefore, dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. For those who are near you are far away… and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast…. be happy about your growth, in which of course you can’t take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind; be confident and calm in front of them and don’t torment them with your doubts and don’t frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn’t be able to comprehend. Seek out some simple and true feeling of what you have in common with them, which doesn’t necessarily have to alter when you yourself change again and again; when you see them, love life in a form that is not your own and be indulgent toward those who are growing old, who are afraid of the aloneness that you trust…. and don’t expect any understanding; but believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.”
Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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Game of Thrones

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I don’t follow too many series except a notable few.

Game of Thrones is one of them.

My husband got me hooked (damn him)  🙂 (with their nod towards Medieval Europe), while we were at the lake a few weekends ago.  My daughter has also come into the fold and I find it far better than Once Upon A Time (one of her favorites)…though the nudity and sex scenes remind me of True Blood (minus the vamps of course), it’s still an overall good serial and I look forward to watching some of my favorite characters coming into their own including the Stark family.

 

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Repose country-style

“If I could have made the change sooner I daresay I should never have given a thought to the literary delights of Paris or London; for life in the country is the only state which has always completely satisfied me, and I had never been allowed to gratify it, even for a few weeks at a time. Now I was to know the joys of six or seven months a year among fields and woods of my own, and the childish ecstasy of that first spring outing at Mamaroneck swept away all restlessness in the deep joy of communion with the earth.”
― Edith Wharton

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There’s a certain sense of equanimity when taking the time relax in the country.  Time…life itself slows down…people seem friendlier.

Pace of life is quite manageable.

Growing up in rural Southern Indiana had its moments.  I was fortunate enough to have the woods, endless roads, and a lake at my disposal.  Crime was never an issue.  We could leave our doors unlocked if we so wished.

Living in St. Louis has it’s ups and downs.  Crime rate leaves something to be desired and I was never one for crowds.  Convenience of city-living is why I remain but when it comes time to retire I plan on being swallowed up by God’s grand Creation. Only then will I know I’ve come home again……….

Nor rural sights alone, but rural sounds,
Exhilarate the spirit, and restore
The tone of languid nature.
~William Cowper

 

 

The hardship of life

“Why is it we must suffer the loss of something so dear before we realize what a treasure we had?
Why must the sun be darkened before we feel how genuinely impossible it is to live without its warmth?
Why within the misery of absence does love grow by such bounds?
Why must life be this way?
It is a strange existence where such suffering makes us far better people.”
Richelle E. Goodrich, Eena, The Curse of Wanyaka Cave

 

It is said that we never truly appreciate what we have, joy and love without first experiencing loss.  And I find this to be true.  I’ve faced many hardships, from the loss of loved ones, moving cross country and around the globe, to losing touch with old friends— simply becoming lost in a new place, new faces, new job, new ways of doing things.

But we all must persevere.  They say God doesn’t give us more than we can handle…sometimes I wonder about that.  Why does He test His children???

Then I think back—-knowing I always came out on top…I kept pushing forward fighting and grasping on to Hope……….never letting go.

Hope keeps me going.

My favorite word.

Wrapped in it is a promise of a better future.

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