Being a single mom in the 21st Century

panasonic_lookatme_quartz_18288_l.jpegBeing a single parent is never easy…being a single parent as the dawn of the 21st century is upon us…even harder.

I had my daughter at 19…age she is now.  I look back at that time period in my life and realized how quickly I had to grow up in order to properly raise her.  She was a blessing and love her with all of what and who I am.

Now……Dating as a single mother can be tricky because you want to convey to your child that dating is fine.  Natural…but how do you balance dating and still raising a child? 

Granted she is 19 but she is not as mature as say I was at the same age.  Some men seem not to realize this and ask me if I am actually coddling her. I hate going into a spiel about her learning disabilities and social awkwardness when they ask me:  “She is 19…SHOULDN’T she already be out on her own?”  And sometimes I get this from men who are not with their kids full time or even have any.  Until you walk a mile in my shoes with a child who has had learning disabilities from the start please don’t lecture me on how to be a good parent.

When I see their reactions to why my daughter still lives at home I am like:  ?????????????????????????????????????????

First of all, not every kid out there matures at the same emotional rate as everyone else.  I have continously taught my daughter the in’s and out’s of life…it isn’t easy but life should not be feared.

I left home at 17 but had the Army to finish raising me.  I wanted to leave on my own and found something deep down within my heart to motivate myself.  That is how I am. My daughter is different.  I realize that she is not going to just pack up and leave at such a young age as I did….she is not me. 

What burns my heart are men who think that because of her age I should automatically kick her out. Well, not KICK her out but you know what I mean.

Look at kids today and the issues they have.  Are parents really around for them anymore? Caught up in work and their own lives kids are left to practically raise themselves as it is.  I am not saying every American household is like this but quite sure a lot of them are.

I knew when I took on the responsibility of raising a child alone the workload would be difficult but I also saw the joy of having my child.  Why should it always be seen as a burden and why can’t some people understand that individuals grow at well….individual rates????

As a mother I have a responsibility still to ensure my daughter is raised with good morals and in today’s society with the way dating can be so volatile—-just overwhelming.

I wonder how many other single moms are out there that feel the way I do???

Joel Williams had this to say about the 21st Century mom:

The 21st Century Single Mom is not perfect. However, she has mastered the technique of sharing her emotions in healthy ways. She is an encourager to her children by allowing them to observe and learn how to do the same. She supports her children in their lives, but, most importantly she has a life of her own.

One of the biggest mistakes single Moms make is not forgiving themselves for the inherent struggles of single parenting and making their children the center and focus of their lives. It is unhealthy for the children and the parent.

The 21st Century Single Mom follows her words with consistent actions. She commands respect by giving respect. She is firm and holds her children accountable for their actions. She inspires them because she is inspired by life and the growth she sees in her children. She doles out more and more challenging responsibilities so her children can grow to become healthy adults. She is confident and honest, letting her children see the rewards from adopting this character.

One thing about the article that caught my eye was this:

Always take time to interact with your children. Sacrifice the time, even if there is a room filled with adults. You would be amazed how much you enjoy their innocence and unpretentiousness.

If a parent does this, their children will be ever so thankful and eternally grateful.  Being a parent is not easy.  But can also be so rewarding.  Seeing the joy on your child’s face because you want to take the time to be involved is so priceless.

I conclude with this excerpt from his article which I truly believe in with all my heart:

If you want to inspire your children to greatness, you must dare to be great yourself. If you want them to develop the skills to enjoy lives full of fun, joy, accomplishment, with an ability to overcome life’s challenges that present opportunities and rewards, then you must make your own life an example.