I miss you

You know when you really care/love someone when they are not around when you want them to be.

Could be their job, deployment, distance…whatever…but listen…..have you ever taken your significant other for granted…gotten so used to them always being around when you want them to be that when they aren’t it feels alien?

It’s selfish to feel this way but at least it also shows you how much you deeply care about having this other person in your life. 

It’s a hard process…at times you have to do things on your own, shopping, paying bills, going out with friends or simply watching the tele with just yourself and some Don Q, very difficult but you learn to adjust and though at times adjustment can be a very agonizing slow process know that your partner loves you, they also think about you and will eventually return to your arms. Hopefully both are understanding about the process…that with patience the separation will work itself out because in the end…after all is said and done…they chose to love you and that simply says it all.

Just never take them for granted.

Keeping your perspective

 

per·spec·tive  (pr-spktv)

n.

1.

a. A view or vista.

b. A mental view or outlook: “It is useful occasionally to look at the past to gain a perspective on the present” (Fabian Linden).

2. The appearance of objects in depth as perceived by normal binocular vision.

3.

a. The relationship of aspects of a subject to each other and to a whole: a perspective of history; a need to view the problem in the proper perspective.

b. Subjective evaluation of relative significance; a point of view: the perspective of the displaced homemaker.

c. The ability to perceive things in their actual interrelations or comparative importance: tried to keep my perspective throughout the crisis.

4. The technique of representing three-dimensional objects and depth relationships on a two-dimensional surface.

adj.

Of, relating to, seen, or represented in perspective.

All of us can be overwhelmed by life circumstance.  We all fight daily battles with ourselves, coworkers, family and friends.  These battles can wear you down both emotionally and physically.

Take small bites out of the situation if digesting the entirety is too much….then you can gain a little bit of perspective on how to handle the situation. Sometimes when we look at the bigger picture it can be overwhelming.

We all are always going to have them. Life is chock full of such moments.

But if you let these daily problems take over you can end up more stressed than need be, or even sick.  Ensure that you eat healthy meals and though I am bad at this…sometimes our bodies will shut down under too much stress to the point where eating is the last thing on our minds.

But you have to think about the alternative, not eating means you lose strength, are susceptible to illness.  Take the time to mentally unplug.  If you like to read do it, go to a quiet place. I know of someone who enjoys his time alone out in the woods and he can gather his thoughts and simply get away which for me is a healthy thing to do.

Talk to close friends whose advice you trust and have a positive attitude, they can help keep you grounded.  The key is not to isolate yourself so much that you are overwhelmed.

Also remember communication is vital whether it be at your job or any relationship dynamic you are into you have to keep the lines open.

At 20 we worry about what others think of us, at 40, we don’t care what they think of us, and at 60, we find out others haven’t been thinking about us at all. – Bob Hope

 

Baby…it’s all about perspective

 

The value of a name

The only thing we have when we leave this world are the memories and our reputation.  Both are invaluable and no matter how many material possessions you accumulate they don’t add up to the importance of what you decide to leave behind.

A reputation once broken may possibly be repaired, but the world will always keep their eyes on the spot where the crack was.
Joseph Hall

In some caste socities such as India, your name means everything and it means where you will be “placed” as far as jobs and status.

If you are prone to lying then your reputation, your “good” name becomes tarnished. So it’s important (if it’s important to you) to never say anything you don’t mean and to always follow up your actions with honor and diginity and to do what you say you’ll do.

“It takes many good deeds to build a good reputation, and only one bad one to lose it”

Benjamin Franklin quotes

The ups and downs of life

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
― Albert Einstein

Life is a struggle..anyone who says otherwise is only fooling themselves.

However, it’s how you deal with life’s obstacles which is a testament to your true character.

I have faced various challenges throughout my life, some that would cause a few of you to quit.  But I am no quitter.

I blogged on here how I contacted my local Congressman because the recruiter I was initially dealing with had lied to me about going back in.  And when you want something badly enough you find a way to get it.

Being a single parent is not easy because you are both the mother and father of your child and you want to ensure they turn out right…are hard workers, have good morals and become productive citizens. And to ensure this you have to take a lot of time and effort because raising kids is difficult.

And when it comes to love, well…..that is what life is made for. We all strive to find someone who will complete us, cherish us and  be our rock.  You have to be honest with them as they are with you….make the necessary sacrifices to ensure the relationship will succeed, always have open communication because that is vital for any relationship to last.

Life is what you may of it…the ups and downs will test and determine your character because in the end that’s how we will be remembered……

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Struggle

Bad habits….

How many of you are guilty of this? For me the most difficult is to quit eating unhealthy foods. Trust me I so do love my bread and sweets however I also know it doesn’t love my waistline and I need to “man up” and monitor my food intake much more closely.

I am a doer…I think words are meaningless unless backed up by action. Anyone can fill your head your heart with dreams but if they are not backed up with action then that’s all they are….dreams.

If you have a bad habit, whatever that may be you need to find out why you keep falling back into it.  What is it about your life that makes you slip?

Are you bored? Lonely?  Is it easier to slip?

Life isn’t easy. God how I know this….but without the struggle how can we realize the joy?

DEPLOYMENT

Will be heading for the mountains of California in July for 3 weeks of pre-deployment training. WHERE we are going don’t know yet but all I know is that it’s going to suck (from what I heard) as far as the training site goes.

My unit, the 620th CSSB, trained there prior to being sent to Iraq back in 2009.  Money will be good but am going to really miss my family, my S.O.  However, I know what I am getting into because I did sign on the dotted line yet again….am on the home stretch now as far as my retirement date coming closer. Just have to get those good years in (in reserves you have to have a good year in order to have it count towards retirement)…and get enough points to retire.

I hope we don’t deploy any time soon but it is what it is and will face this head on.

Stress/Anger

Sometimes you are confronted with life situations which brings out the worst in your personality.  I pride myself in keeping my decorum and not letting anyone “get me down.”

However, I am only human and sometimes I can break.

I don’t consider myself fragile because I have been through the wringer in life and always managed somehow to come out on top and to have a positive attitude.

However, sometimes you can be so overwhelmed by life circumstance that you can’t help but bite back.  My bite can be a bit nasty so that’s another reason I try to control my temper. 

For one:

1. I don’t like to be taken advantage of (hell who does?) but some people think they can.

2. Though I usually come off as laid back, (in which I am) doesn’t mean I am a pushover.

3. Don’t think because I have good control of my temper doesn’t mean it won’t come out once in a while.

The key is not to let anyone push you down so far that they end up making you disgrace yourself because the only one making you do that is yourself.

Being Puerto Rican and la familia

I had previously posted on this very subject in the past regarding the Puerto Rican or rather the Hispanic view of the family.  We Hispanics tend to be a very tight knit bunch.  Our family, our blood means everything to us.  I cannot describe how wonderful it feels to be the recipient of so much devotion.

Interesting Facts

Puerto Ricans consider themselves American but are fiercely proud of their island and their culture. They don’t usually call themselves Americans or “Americanos”, but “Puertorriqueños” or “Boricuas”. To most Puerto Ricans, “my country” means “Puerto Rico”, not the United States.

Criollo (creole) is a word used today by Puerto Ricans to describe things native to the island, such as: music, cuisine, language, arts, people, religion, and other aspects of the island culture.

It is known that Puerto Rican descendants call themselves Puerto Ricans. “I am Puerto Rican, but I wasn’t born there.”

The term “Nuyorican” is used to identify New Yorkers born in Puerto Rico or of Puerto Rican descent who live in or near New York City. The word Nuyorican derives from a combination of the words “New York” and “Puerto Rican”.

My mother was the best example of a mother’s love.  She loves us unconditionally and always has. Sure, she had that infamous Latina temper but we never once doubted how much this mother loved us.

I sometimes feel I pale in comparison to how I love my daughter but then I think about the sacrifices made in order to ensure my daughter was brought up well, never had to worry about a roof over her head or food in her belly. She saw how dedicated I was to being educated and I instilled these values along with hard work into her.

For those of you men who find Latin women erotic and ache to date/marry one of us I beg you to try and understand the concept of La Familia and to keep this in mind if you wish to be involved:

                 Puerto Rican                                                          American

Family is the foundation of the Puerto Rican social structure. The word ”familismo” is a Puerto Rican word that means close family connections, and it emphasizes the concern for the well being of the family.	Friends and peer-aged acquaintances are often seen as the foundation of U.S. social structure.
Communications by telephone, as well as visits among families, are signs of being caring and are strongly encouraged and valued.	Communication by telephone is common, but family visits are often reserved for holidays and special occasions.
“Interactions between family members and others are expected to be courteous, honorable and considerate” (Giammanco & Bartolomei, date, page ?).	Interactions among family members reflect the independence that is expected and highly valued among individuals in this culture.
Family honor is of primary importance to Puerto Ricans, and they value an extended family, or modified extended family, which is the basic support system for first- and second-generation families in the U.S. (e.g.: cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, godparents (padrino/madrina), and close friends.	The family unit is very diverse but, generally, it tends to be small and nuclear.
Individual achievement is not considered as valuable as family loyalty.	Individual achievement is highly valued.
It is quite common to find three generations living under the same roof.Married couples tend to live in a house or apartment near their parents.	Family members such as the grandparents, parents, married children and other relatives may live in different parts of the country.
Children are brought up as an integral part of the family unit. “Each [family] member has interdependent responsibilities, which validate their position in the family” (Giammanco & Bartolomei, date, p.?).	Children are not expected to contribute to the welfare of the whole family.

click here for the source

Interesting Fact
Puerto Ricans are known for their warm hospitality, often considered very friendly and expressive to strangers. Greetings are often cordial and genuine. When people are first introduced, a handshake is usual, however, close friends and family members always greet you hello or goodbye with a kiss on the cheek or a combination hug and kiss. This happens between female friends and between men and women, but not between male friends.

Puerto Ricans are best known by speaking using lively hand and facial gestures, as hand and body language are important forms of communication.

If You Could Read My Mind

I used to listen to Gordon Lightfoot as a teen…wore his songs out on my cassette player. This song always brought tears to my eyes even though I never dated back then….I could feel the pain in the words:

Reenlistment

Today was significant for me. I raised my hand yet again pledging my oath to my country for another 3 years.  I don’t know what those years will bring. What I do know is if I decided to ETS in July I would have seriously felt a big part of myself would be missing. I have served in the military almost all of my adult life. I don’t know anything else to be.

I mulled over this decision for a few months. I thought about what the future might bring such as deployment and how it would affect my family and those closest to me. In the end I realized that if I left it would have been a big loss both emotionally and financially.  I am almost to the home stretch towards retirement. And if I am deployed there are various benefits for myself and family members.

The first time I swore my allegiance I was 17, remembered had tears in my eyes. Now at 43 am still touched but there are no tears. A tad jaded but still realize the significance of pledging my life to the country I still love so very much.