Passing the torch

Spoke to a friend of mine today whose boyfriend is still keeping  contact with an ex-girlfriend.  He is in the military and at times is away for training, deployment, whatever.  She overheard him talking to this woman the other day and came to me for advice.

 

I have heard from both sides (men and women) lamenting as to how their partner still carries feelings for their ex.  If that’s the case why the hell are you in another relationship?  Seems childish to me and actually quite selfish to continue communications with someone who could very well jeopardize your current relationship. 

 

Of course I see no problem with it if you absolutely do not have feelings for this person and they certainly do not.  You can continue loving someone but know it’s best to discontinue all communications.  If that person still carries a torch for you then what in the world are you doing keeping the lines open? Out of respect for your partner why dig up the past?

 

I am of the adage that of let sleeping dogs lie.  Period.

 

Sure it’s all about trust but at the same time if you left this person then it means he or she was toxic to you and most certainly will create a wedge between you and your S.O.

Thoughts???

It’s all in how you look at it

(I HAVE THIS DISPLAYED AT MY WORKSTATION):

 “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a …company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.” Charles R. Swindoll

Sometimes we come to work, we look at life with such negativity it seems we bring about our own self-demise. 

It’s so important to put everything into perspective. We worry unnecessarily and we allow others to control our emotions.

We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

 

And I am most convinced about that!

Operation Bootstrap

I mentioned on Facebook that after watching the biography of Steve Jobs makes me wonder if more Americans had some of his zeal, passion for their jobs, community, whatever…we could lift this country by its bootstraps and move forward in a positive light. I know this country became what it was due to the pioneer spirit and the hard work of our forefathers. Sometimes I think we become to complacent with our lives, material things that we forget how lucky we actually are to live in this great country.

One of my friends made the stark comment if we had the same zeal as we did when Russia was our political enemy perhaps Americans could find motivation to move this country forward. Seems to me with all the political hoopla we are stagnating as a industrialized nation…and it pains me to see this.

Operation Bootstrap was an economic incentive that created very ambitious projects to move Puerto Rico out of a primarily sugar can plantation based society to a more industrialized one.  This concept has also been used in other areas such as Africa which is trying to educate their children by partnering with non-profit agencies to improve literacy and education in general in this continent.  They become the future. And hopefully a bright one.

Though the United States is not floundering it does have some ongoing chronic issues which need to be addressed. Talking these problems out to death isn’t resolving anything. I keep seeing fast food restaurants popping out everywhere in rural America…(and makes me wonder where exactly is this country headed?) Our manufacturing jobs are sent overseas…the cost of living is outrageous which creates a vicious cycle of paying out high wages for blue-collar jobs and white-collar seems to be stagnating.  If not why so many unemployed college graduates?

We need to work together as Americans to bring this country back on its feet. Irregardless of what the politicians are saying this American is a doubting Thomas.

PROVE IT!

Create change!!

The Case of the Blahs…

I think there’s an anxiety in life where we automatically tend to look to the next thing or we’re complaining about the past. Worrying is not going to make it happen or not happen.
Sherilyn Fenn

 

 

We’ve all experienced it with work, family, friends, relationships. You get stuck in a rut not seeing a way out and you wonder how the hell you got into this situation in the 1st place.

 

What’s the cure?

Well, you can address the issue find out what is causing you to be in such a blase state of mind.  Set goals to fix them and keep moving forward.

 

Complaining about a life situation will get you know where. Sure it’s always good to vent (healthy even) but when you find yourself in a vicious cycle you can’t seem to get out of who do you blame?

 

Others????

 

Or yourself?

 

There’s so much “credit” we can give to other people when it comes to our problems…but in the end it IS our life and it IS up to us to fix what’s wrong or simply to improve on what’s already there.

 

What I cannot stand are chronic complainers. We all know them, hell maybe even some of you are…how does it make you feel though when the shoe is on the other foot and you have a friend or family member or even spouse/life partner who seems to make it a “hobby” to constantly nag/complain???? Doesn’t feel great does it? So why put someone else through the same?

 

There’s so much that bitching can do for us before all it becomes is hot air…you stagnant, not moving forward and whose fault does it end up being? Certainly not your friends and family…not your partner if you are not taking responsibility for your own actions. 

 

I cannot ever stress enough how important it is to take charge of your own life. If you don’t like what’s going on c.h.a.n.g.e. it…for the better….get rid of all that damn negativity and find something positive, something worthwhile to fill in that dead space.

Trust me..it works!

Leading a secret life…

A friend of mine recently confided in me that she discovered her husband had a secret life of meeting men.  This came as a shock to me because I would have never thought this guy would have been bisexual.  She is unsure as to what to do.  I told her, the best thing is to get a divorce if counseling is not an option..not because of his sexuality but because he cheated on her.  If a person is gay or bisexual then so be it….studies have been conducted and it appears to be a physiological thing….of course I have also heard about experimentation but in the end I feel if you are turned on by the same sex then a part of you is bi….

 

What I don’t condone is any type of betrayal and what this man should have told her from the very beginning was his sexuality…if a couple is in a committed relationship why hide this fact?  I would consider it pretty major.

 

It’s best to get something like this out early…not years down the road, as in my friend’s case, when so much time and emotion has been invested in the relationship.

 

Of course I cannot tell her what to do (especially with her being married) but what I do know is irregardless of who this man has been with he broke a sacred trust held between her and himself and it’s best to move on……..

It’s a matter of living well….

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. Steve Jobs

How many people have tried to live up to the expectations of others and have failed? Searching deep inside for more meaning? You examine your life to the miniscule detail trying to find a sense of purpose to everything you’ve done…..

What is it about pleasing others, ensuring that you do not disappoint that has people in such a conundrum?

I, on the other hand, have tried to live my life well…to seek out the pleasures and accomplishments which befits my personality, my drive, my goals……I too have sought out life’s purpose wondering why God placed me here….indeed searching for what was meant for me…………………

Every one of us has aspirations, we seek out others to give us validation.  Yet, at the same time we seem to disappoint ourselves, never thinking that we are good enough……and I ponder upon this…wondering why we berate ourselves so severely? Where does it get us?

We must live this life well…find joy in every day things, take pride in our accomplishments, find love, be loved–

embrace the wonder of this thing called life………..

The Power of Positive Thinking…

Had a great discussion about the power of positive thinking when it comes to health and life circumstance. I like to think we are the captain of our ship…that we can determine our fate and if you are a positive thinker then one might hope you make the right choics for your life’s goals.  For me it’s a combo of both. God helps those who help themselves. Don’t always expect a miracle around every corner….life doesn’t work like that. Instead, see life itself as a miracle and make something of it.

“There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.” W. Clement Stone