I only have eyes for you


“Maybe that’s what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all.”
Emily Giffin, Love the One You’re With

When two people commit to one another, a life long journey of hopes, dreams, goals, and yes love…..stands before them.

Being married or in a long-term committed relationship takes guts. It takes guts knowing you are exposing yourself, your heart to someone else and trusting that this individual will live up to your expectations and that your love will not be bruised and battered.

Of course that’s everyone’s fairytale ending but we all know that in real relationships disappointments, hardships and doubts abound.

With that being said, when we conscientiously choose to create a lifelong bond with someone else we are committing to more than just that person. We become part of a union. Couples are entwine in both emotional and physical fidelity.  And when you love someone…truly love them….this aspect of the relationship is quite easy to accomplish.

We then learn to work with and perhaps even accept some of the flaws that come with loving another individual…so long as these flaws do not overwhelm or shadow the relationship in its entirety.

“People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of it.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

Having eyes for only your partner and your partner only means to continuously maintain a lifelong love affair. Keeping that element of romance through the years….trying not to take the other for granted and remembering that even though you are coupling as one…to keep intact your personal integrity and your identity so that you are able to give the best of yourself and establish a healthy commitment for years to come:

“My love affair with (him) had a wonderful element of romance to it, which I will always cherish. But it was not an infatuation, and here’s how I can tell: because I did not demand that he become my Great Emancipator or my Source of All Life, nor did I immediately vanish into that man’s chest cavity like a twisted, unrecognizable, parasitical homunculus. During our long period of courtship, I remained intact within my own personality, and I allowed myself to meet (him) for who he was.”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

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