“At the least, bear patiently, if thou canst not joyfully. And although thou be very unwilling to hear it, and feel indignation, yet check thyself, and suffer no unadvised word to come forth from thy lips, whereby the little ones may be offended. Soon the storm which hath been raised shall be stilled, and inward grief shall be sweetened by returning grace.”
― Thomas à Kempis, The Imitation of Christ
Testaments to our characters is certainly illustrated when things don’t go our way. We can only control our reactions to our environment, to other people. As much as we try, we simply cannot control the actions of others…not really. And, if you think you can you really need to question yourself as to what kind of person you are—–if controlling others is your main life’s goal.
Marriage is not just a union between two people but it is also an emotional union. How we view life, perceived indifference, creates the foundation from which the marriage will grow. You can stifle each other with lack of communication, mistrust, and disrespect…or you can actually watch it flourish as both of you work together towards common goals.
If you cannot be happy about whatever is going on in your relationship (again, as long as there is nothing disrespectful going on) don’t “rain on your partner’s parade” instead find something to rejoice. And as the old adage goes, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. If there are children, always remember, little ears are listening and we do emulate our parents in some part, though we would most likely try to deny it.
And arguments will most certainly occur. No marriage is perfect and to strive for such ill-conceived perfection will only create unrealistic expectations.