To beat the odds….


“Marriage is more than your love for each other. It has a higher dignity and power, for it is God’s holy ordinance, through which He wills to perpetuate the human race till the end of time. In your love you see only your two selves in the world, but in marriage you are a link in the chain of the generations, which God causes to come and to pass away to His glory, and calls into His kingdom. In your love, you see only the heaven of your own happiness, but in marriage you are placed at a post of responsibility towards the world and mankind. Your love is your own private possession, but marriage is more than something personal – it is a status, an office. Just as it is the crown, and not merely the will to rule, that makes the king, so it is marriage, and not merely your love for each other, that joins you together in the sight of God and man.”
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison

Not everyone is made for marriage.  Don’t marry simply because you feel it’s an obligation.  Don’t marry because you can’t stand being alone.  Sometimes people “force” themselves into relationships thinking it’ll make them a better person, will take away the loneliness. But if you are with the wrong person, and you’re married, there’s nothing quite heart-retching than being with the wrong person and lonely.  So choose wisely.

Indeed, there is a sense of dignity and yes, there is this innate responsibility towards others when we enter into this union.  We forget that our ties are chained to other generations from each family, bound forever through this relationship.

I strongly feel people can be quite flippant about marriage.  They do not understand the myriad of responsibilities that come with it. It’s more than love, it’s more than a simple meeting of the hearts and minds.  We have a responsibility to one another when we say “I do.”  We have responsibilities towards society as a whole.

I hear all too often the laments of married men against their wives, feeling their partner stifles their sense of self, their independence.  This “ideology” also rings true with women who feel their husbands are not “there.” Out of the hurt that they feel wives may nag, or complain against their spouse.  We forget sometimes our partner chose us, us out of millions, billions of others to spend the rest of their natural life with.

Taking one another for granted seals the fate of a doomed marriage.

Disrespect, lies, and cheating also contribute to creating disharmony.  Honestly, some individuals are simply not meant for marriage.  They forget the responsibilities which are tied to this union.  Happiness with the other is inexplicably intertwined.  Though we like to say our spouse is not the center of our universe, for a lot of us they are.  We should never forget why we married, never discount the love that is freely given.  Honor your spouse, love them fully.  Always be honest and supportive.  Even if you don’t believe marriage is part of a bigger picture.  You are the world to your partner as they should be to you. Be in love with your spouse.  Heaven is also the joy you feel spending your life with them.

 

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