I think it’s typical for all of us to carry over baggage from a previous relationship into the new one. Nothing creates more distrust and buildup of walls like a broken heart or betrayal.
But is it fair to your current partner to continuously hold on to things that should be let go?
Of course we all know the answer to that question.
Yet most of us, if not all, have been guilty. We think that things will be different, we try to compensate for past transgressions but a lot of us fall into the old trap of what’s comfortable for us (even if it means being detrimental for the long-term.)
How do we know we brought in this stuff. You need to ask yourself the following:
- Be self-aware. Find out what exactly your self-defense triggers are.
- Is there a common theme to your arguments such as financial, abandonment issues, infidelity?
- Examine why you feel this way. What happened in your past that continues to interfere with current relationships?
Once you identify key points to your insecurities then you can begin tackling these issues.
The key is to confront your past head-on, realize that not every man (or woman) is going to act/react like your ex. Move forward: