It’s times like these I sit here and am grateful I have been through hardship, heartbreak and turmoil because I can stand here today and thank God for the person I have become. A strong, independent woman who if she has to can walk a life in her own shoes knowing I have the power, mind and strength to believe I am worth the life I have been given.

Natasha Buckmaster

Sometimes Life can deal us a bad hand.  It’s up to us as to how we play it.

While on active duty stationed with 15th Military Intelligence Battalion in Fort Hood Texas, I had my first taste of being on welfare through the WIC program. A single mother working full time for her country with a newborn.  It was a scary experience.  I was 19 years old and realized that my life had permanently changed.  Now I had a helpless baby to take care of and I was barely out of diapers myself.  But I knew what my responsibilities were and I knew I had to take care of this child to the best of my ability.  I loved her even before she was born.

My mother, God bless her, wanted to take my daughter home while I continued serving.  I felt it was my responsibility to care for her, show her how much I loved her, sacrifice for her. Due to constantly being in the field I felt it was necessary to take a hardship discharge.  In retrospect I realize I was doing myself and my daughter a disservice by leaving.  Though I struggled with my pay I did not have to rely on anything but my wits and my inner strength to get us through.  I should have stayed in, I could have retired at 37.  Leaving active duty is truly one of my greatest regrets.
However, with that being said, we are all set on a path of our own making.  God helps those who helps themselves and early on I realized that I needed to blaze a trail. I went to college, worked two jobs and pursued my double Masters’.  It was a very difficult journey.  I did not receive one cent of child support ; and, my daughter and I learned to take care of each other.  We did face some difficult times but the love was always there and I had someone who loved me unconditionally.
Through the years I faced heartache, illness, betrayal, and despair.  But I kept my goals in sight. I kept moving forward. I was not going to let anything beat me, bring me down.
Just because you make some poor choices in your life, or you were placed in a situation of your own making doesn’t mean you have the right to give up.  You find a way to fulfill your dreams, to keep that fire burning.  Everyone has a sob story to tell.  Find a way to stand out and claim this life in a way, that when you look back, you know you gave it your best shot.

2 thoughts on “Strength

  1. WOW. I knew there was something I liked about you. I love that blog. Like you said, we’ve all been through tough times, myself included. But I didn’t play my bad hand the way you did. Well….I kinda did but not exactly. Not to sound corny or anything but that little peek into your life is inspirational. Thank you for sharing!!

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