Dealing with a separation


This post is for all the spouses out there whose significant other is currently deployed.  As a soldier I always thought it would be me leaving the Mr. for parts unknown.

Not to be….

Instead, I am the newly wed wife left behind while my dear husband flew off to deal with the bad guys.  And boy do I miss him.

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I have been on my own for pretty much my entire adult life. I know how to take care of the bills, take care of the little bumps that normally come along any given day…what I didn’t expect when I dreamed of getting married was being left so soon after the nuptials.

Sure I get angry, jealous, upset…but where does that get me? All I can do is take this separation one day at a time until I see him again during his next liberty and then when he is home for good.

The key to any successful long-term is communication…lots of it, love, devotion and as much understanding as humanly possible.

Do I feel like giving up?

It creeps into the back of my mind however I know it’s not an option. I knew before we married what I was in store for and I know what I need to do as his wife to keep the home fires burning.

This doesn’t mean I still won’t harbor some negative feelings but what I need to do is simply learn to deal as every other spouse whose been left behind while their man/woman is taking care of business.

I am lucky in that I know what it’s like to be on my own, to work and take care of business.  What keeps relationships like these going is not just communication but honesty…learn to pick your battles and not to overwhelm your spouse with all of your problems.  Find a family member or good friend who you trust that you can vent with.  However, venting being as soul cleansing as it is…you need to find a solution because eventually venting will fall on deaf ears and no one wants to hear your sob story.

If you don’t work then find a hobby, go out with friends but stay busy.  This gives you something to discuss with your partner.

I still have a few months to go before his deployment is over. At times thinking about all the nights alone is overwhelming.  There are still times I cry, my arms ache for him, to touch his face and feel his arms around me but I keep going. I have to.  I chose him after 44 years to be my husband.  And I love this man.

Plain and simple.

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