I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance,
A church filled with family and friends.
I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for,
He said one that would make me his wife.
Brides tend to loose sight of the wedding day when planning a wedding. We get caught up in all the intricate details that the ultimate goal of the joining of two souls is lost. The stress of getting relatives and friends together, finding “the dress,” the right flowers, menu options, the location can be overwhelming.
However, with that being said….every bride to be needs to take time out of her planning and simply give thanks to the gift she’s been given. For myself, I chose not to marry. Seeing failing marriages around me, or marriages that should have been dissolved years ago, turned me off to this holy institution.
But, as the years slipped by and I came into my own, was established both financially, spiritually and having an emotional baseline, I realized that if that “special guy” did come into my life, I was ready. Yeah, it took 44 years to realize this but like they say…it’s never too late for love.
“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
One of my “requirements” I guess you could say, was finding a mate who was also my best friend. This came naturally with my partner. I cannot emphasize enough how important friendship is to any monogamous relationship. People say a long-term partnership can become stale because you fall into habits, the days can run into each other–you get the picture.
Think about your best friends, your close network….think about how many years you all have been together. Spousal/partner friendship is a must and it has to develop naturally…chew on that one for a bit. 😉
“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each others cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each others keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each others shadow.”
― Kahlil Gibran
, The Prophet
Finally, remember even though the two of you are joined for the journey, doesn’t mean you lose the essence of yourself. Every couple needs to set aside some “me” time. For my fiance it means being able to hunt during the seasons, to spend time with his buddies. For myself, it means going out with my circle of friends, visiting family and friends across this great nation. When you have separate interests and spend some quality time apart that separation can get you to honestly evaluate your relationship, make you miss your partner and missing them is a healthy thing and make your time together even that much more meaningful.
Never lose sight on what brought the two of you together and the love you both share……