Passing the torch

Spoke to a friend of mine today whose boyfriend is still keeping  contact with an ex-girlfriend.  He is in the military and at times is away for training, deployment, whatever.  She overheard him talking to this woman the other day and came to me for advice.
I have heard from both sides (men and women) lamenting as to how their partner still carries feelings for their ex.  If that’s the case why the hell are you in another relationship?  Seems childish to me and actually quite selfish to continue communications with someone who could very well jeopardize your current relationship. 
Of course I see no problem with it if you absolutely do not have feelings for this person and they certainly do not.  You can continue loving someone but know it’s best to discontinue all communications.  If that person still carries a torch for you then what in the world are you doing keeping the lines open? Out of respect for your partner why dig up the past?
I am of the adage that of let sleeping dogs lie.  Period.
Sure it’s all about trust but at the same time if you left this person then it means he or she was toxic to you and most certainly will create a wedge between you and your S.O.

2 thoughts on “Passing the torch

  1. Depends on many things. What I have in mind is, reason of break-up, reason to talk to the person again and if they have feelings or not. At times, they don’t really have feelings but because of all the things they went through and helped each other with it is just not right to not be friends.

    I agree if there is even a small spark that may ruin the current relationship. If you have feelings for an ex- then why bother jumping into a new relationship if you will end up ruining it? I just think people hate being alone that they don’t think about the amount of pain they inflict on others by their behaviors. Emotions are hard to control but that doesn’t mean you can just jump from one person to the other.

  2. I totally agree. What I try to do is have that person put themselves in the other person’s shoes. How would they feel if the same was done to them? If they have any sense of decency yes it would bother them to think their partner is keeping up contact with an ex. I have seen some ex’s continously try to keep the lines of communication open even though they KNOW that the current partner is dead set against this. Shows blatant disrespect and the boyfriend/girlfriend husband/wife needs to put their foot down and say enough…that they do not want to jeapordize their current relationship and if that person allows this type of behavior to continue well, it goes to show you that they are the wrong person to be with.

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