Is this person the “right” fit for me?


Couples can go through the typical ups and downs when initially dating.  There are of course the delicious butterflies you feel when your intended is near.  You think about them throughout the day, a secret smile playing about your lips.
 
Then sometimes you can face some really difficult moments wondering if you are in the right relationship, if this person is someone you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with….are they the right fit?  Do they hold on to the same morals/interests as you do?
 
Being faithful…so many things run through your head at once as you analyze this person knowing that their actions will certainly affect your life…your heart.
 
Being in love is heady…it fills up your pores, you want everyone to experience these tingly feelings of joyous excitement.
 
Being in love definitely is its own drug and can become quite intoxicating.  But at the same time don’t be so blinded by your partner that faults you would not condone in someone else (not even a friend) are swept to the side.
 
Important issues need to be discussed such as finances, living arrangements, children (especially from previous marriages/relationships) fidelity, the list goes on and on.
 
Not so romantic now is it?
 
But it’s better to be prepared than to leave everything to the last minute after the “I do’s” IF that’s where the relationship is headed.
 
Make sure before you fully commit to this person whereupon you can actually see yourself living comfortably years down the road…that you can live with their habits, little faults–are you both sexually compatible (a biggie)….and most importantly is this person able to communicate with you.
 
And if your partner strays from your embrace you need to seriously evaluate whether or not the relationship is meant to even “be“. Sometimes you can forgive (if it’s early on perhaps you can..depends on what’s at stake) but at the same time you need to really lay it on the line that cheating is never to be tolerated and shouldn’t. 
 
Cheating is a symptom of something greater…could be a problem in the relationship or with your partner.  Or if you are the one doing the cheating you need to do a self-evaluation. 
 
Is it worth it…can you see yourself without your partner down the road?  Was the affair a momentary relapse in judgement or are you a person who enjoys voyeuristic activities.  If it’s the latter then do yourself a favor and end everything….it isn’t fair to that person to continue down a path of lies and lead a secret life because you don’t know how to handle a serious committed relationship.
 
Love certainly isn’t easy, relationships aren’t.  Myself, I have dated and through the years realized what I wanted in a man, a partner.  What I was willing to compromise and what I won’t.  And when you get to be my age, you’re pretty set in your ways.  Finding someone who mirrors yourself can be difficult, but they are out there.
 
Trust me.
 
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4 thoughts on “Is this person the “right” fit for me?

  1. LOL, get a cat instead…that way when you get upset at them all you have to do is set them outside for the night. No matter how long you have them, they will never want half of what you have when they decide to leave you….just saying.

    Raven

  2. This should be read world wide and put in newspapers! I am dead serious.

    We need someone who can open peoples minds and let them see reality other than just going with the flow. To find a partner and be with is not a simple task. You may like something about your partner, maybe the way s/he jokes around, takes care of people and other sweet things. However, can you SEE yourself with that person? That is a different issue and you should REALLY think about it as hard as you can. As you said, it is better to not be with the person if you can’t see yourself together since that may lead to a life full of lies and lots of pain for the one that is being lied to.

    Sadly, when one of the couple sit down and bring this topic up about REALLY looking if they are compatible, the other directly thinks something irrational like “he/she doesn’t want me and can’t accept me…” or things that are similar to that. I believe some just like it to be spontaneous and don’t care what happens tomorrow, they just want the fun and good times to last as much as they can.

  3. True…what I cannot stand is when you sit down with your partner to hash out the difficult details they agree (at the moment) perhaps to save face or to not start an argument or are afraid you will leave them but what I cannot stand is living a lie. Life is short….if you simply are not compatabile with that person let them go. They deserve true happiness. And yes Raven, animals give us that uncondtional love which seems to elude us in human relationships.

  4. Pingback: Losing oneself (images) | Life in These United States

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