Controlling one’s temper


How many of you out there have to make a concerted effort to control your temper? 
 
Being of Puerto Rican and Irish decent I have heard all the jokes regarding our tempers and frankly it’s pretty much true.
 
When you are in a romantic relationship sometimes a part of you may be afraid to show anger…you think your partner may leave you if you revealed your true feelings. 
 
The key again is to pick your fights WISELY and not find an excuse to argue over any little issue.  Again, I feel that you shouldn’t be a doormat for your mate if they are disrespecting you or taking you for granted but simply choose when to confront them over an issue
 
However, I am known as an anomaly in my family, earning the title of peace maker. I have always been able to negotiate a truce with family members who constantly bicker.  Of course once in a while I can lose it because I am no doormat and neither am I a saint.
 
The key to being heard when you are angry is to know WHEN to pick your fights.  If you are constantly nagging and belittling your loved ones who is going to take you seriously when you are upset? They will simply think it’s par for the course, roll their eyes and move on.
 
One thing though I cannot stress enough is if you find yourself arguing with your partner over every little issue this is definitely a symptom of a larger problem and you need to question:
 
    • Has your partner done something to really warrant these emotions?
    • Are the two of you truly compatible?
    • Has something recently happened to you that you are taking it out on them (in a passive aggressive manner?
    • Are you bored with the relationship?
 
These are some issues you really need to think about before the next fight takes place.  I have seen married couple’s primary form of communication to be arguing or giving orders and frankly I would never wish to find myself in such a position.
 
Thoughts?
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