Staying committed

What kind of person does it take to stay committed to someone?  So many factors can interfere with a relationship:

  • Job
  • Children
  • Money
  • Relatives

Each of these factors have their good and bad points, just depends on how you look at them.  As stated in my previous post, couples need to discuss these pertinent issues prior to becoming committed.  Once you realize the two of you are becoming serious such issues need to be addressed down the road.

Sometimes a person’s job may take them away for what ever reason (money issues, the nature of the job, time away from home).  I have seen couples break up or divorce because their partner is never home.  For myself, well….I cannot see how a relationship can thrive if someone is always gone.  I really feel for husbands/wives whose spouses are always gone due to deployment or working shift. They may not see them for months or even years and when shift work is involved…you may not see them for days on end even though you both are in the same household.  The income being brought in is what keeps the marriage financially afloat. If the money being brought in means more than the relationship itself then why bother being in one? Again, all this depends on communication and whether or not both individuals are in agreement with how the relationship will survive. Compromise, of course, in both situations needs to be addressed.

Another issue is child-rearing.  If the two of you don’t see eye to eye on how to raise the kids this is simply asking for trouble.  I have seen children play each parent against the other to try to get their way.  In connection with this, it’s important the both of you are in agreement when it comes to discipline. NEVER, and I mean NEVER make your spouse out as the bad parent when it comes to discipline.  You never should put your spouse in such a bad light that your children become scared of him/her. I have also seen this happen and this can cause tremendous strain on the marriage.

Relatives also are key to keeping a relationship going.  If there is animosity against the spouse’s family it can create a heap of problems. Though we say we are marrying this man/woman–not their entire family this isn’t always the case, especially when it comes to Hispanics and African-Americans. We tend to tightly hold on to our extended family and if you don’t or can’t understand why then you need to learn fast because family will always be there.

Committment seems to be a four letter word of late.  It’s a running joke that men are afraid of it and women are endlessly seeking it.

In the end of course, you have to do what’s right for you because you gotta love yourself first and once you have done that, then everything else SHOULD fall into place.


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