Stuck in a relationship rut


Have you experienced this?  You get comfortable in your relationship and it seems the days become undistinguishable?  You wonder where the romance has gone?  What happened to the butterflies?  What made you fall in love with this person?
 
I have seen couples (especially married) who fall into this rut. Who take each other for granted. The job gets in the way…you become complacent.  Children become a priority and the essence of what made the two of you a “we” seems to have been lost with the every day drudgeries of life. 
 
Sometimes we get bored within our relationships and this is normal.  We can’t have 24/7 stimulation and that’s asking a bit much.
 
Find out what it is that’s making you feel this way.
 
  • Is he/she taking you for granted?
  • Have the two of you stopped “dating?”
  • Are your jobs so demanding you end up fatigued and have no time for your partner?
  • Sex becomes routine.
  • You feel more like friends than lovers.
 Mundane tasks are part of any relationship but I do understand the need to spice things up once in awhile, especially for long-term committed relationships. 
 
As I always try to advocate, it takes two to make any relationship work so your partner needs to be on board when it comes to pulling each other out of this funk.
 
Perhaps the two of you could try a new hobby together, or become interested in something your spouse/partner likes.
 
But trust me, I do know what it’s like to get stuck….the difference between having a blase relationship and one with spark is what you do with the rut. Do you bitch about it or do you put in a plan of action?
 
Relationships can become bogged down because one person ends up being more giving than the other and it  can create resentment.  Sometimes it’s good to acknowledge what your partner has done to make you happy. Little things like this really do help bring back the spark.
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2 thoughts on “Stuck in a relationship rut

  1. Yes, I have been there! You end up becoming more of roommates than anything else. You work first shift and she works second shift and weekends to be home with the kids. Best things you can do is communicate! Do the little things like get her flowers or do something nice for her/him once in awhile to let them know you are thinking of the them even though you are apart. It is like having a long distance relationship but you live in the same house. Many people go through it

  2. I am lucky with what I have. Though my S/O will be doing shift work because of the nature of his job (rotations) it will be initially difficult but if there is a strong emotional base then anything is possible. Plus, as the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder…however I am a FIRM believer in communication. When a couple cannot always be together they can communicate through email/txt/phone….flirt with each other when apart etc….something to keep the spice up. I think it’s natural to get into a rut but it is still up to the couple to do something about it so that the relationship can continue in a healthy manner. 🙂

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