The “art” of arguing

A researcher by heart and an analyzer of thought and emotions I always found the combative side of relationships quite interesting.  I see married couples, long term partners, siblings, friends…(you get the picture) arguing with different styles.

I wonder why people intentionally set out to hurt one another knowing that it sets up a new round of emotions and usually negative.

So, is there an art to arguing?

Can you get your point across without having to tear a person down to the point that they can only think of escape? For the life of me I cannot understand how people enjoy arguing unless they get some cheap kind of thrill out of it…couples nit picking each other to death, insisting that their point of view is the only one even if they secretly know it is not.

Perhaps we see our parents growing up and become exposed to their style…(right or wrong) screaming, name calling, silence, retreat…this is where we begin to develop a sense of what’s right and wrong.

And so we test our fledgling wings of socialization.  We receive feedback from our immediate family members, then school as we in turn receive a reaction to our own argumentative style.  Then there are those of us who feel any type of discord is unsavory and we refuse to “given in” to the demons of our inner souls. So we pent it up until we reach the point it all comes exploding out.

Not good.

In the end we really should weigh the issues as to what is “worth” arguing about and what we should simply let go.  Evaluate why you feel the need to bring such negativity into the equation and take a deep breath….is there a better way of getting your point across? 😉


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