Stages of grief

My sister once told me she grieved for our father before he passed away and a part of me did also.  We knew the end was near, that he would not live to see 70.  From the time he had his last heart attack at 62 until his passing each year the family was on pins and needles wondering if the next day would be his last.

This went on for six years.

It’s difficult to watch a loved one progressively worsen, either with cancer, diabetes or some other terminal illness.  My sister discussed the various stages of grief and for myself I am experiencing guilt…I wonder what more could I have done or said to make the time dad had left more meaningful.

Both my mom and I are at that stage. My other two siblings are not. They have worked through it. Perhaps because I was his first child, his “favorite” and mom was always there taking care of him…with him all those years after the kids left. We wonder collectively what more could have been done.

Talking about it, getting it out for me at least…is a healthy start.  Don’t keep those feelings bottled in because trust me…it won’t get you anywhere.

I don’t think everyone goes through the stages in a succinct row…some maybe and others like me can flip around but it’s healthy to grieve…but I know at some point we have to move on. Death is a part of living and we have to make the most of the time we DO have….and if you have a loved one who is terminal take this time to make it right…to give them good memories to take with them and for you to remember. Don’t let them go with regret.


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