To have or have not…


Someone very close to me is indecisive about having a baby. She will be 36 this year and yes, she can hear that clock ticking. (Ahhh to be 36 again)….where was I?

Sometimes she yearns for that petter patter of little feet, other times she is reluctant to even think of giving up her free-spirited ways of traveling to parts unknown….going out whenever she feels like it and have that uninterrupted one on one time with the hubby.

Myself, I always knew I wanted to be a mother. It was a given…I could not think of NOT ever becoming one. Being a mother meant more to me than ever finding Mr. Right. (Let’s face it….children tend to give you unconditional love)….

I explained to her that she should try making a list (visualizing really does help) of the pro’s and con’s of becoming a parent.  She stated that the con’s were longer and well, for me if she feels that strongly about not wanting a child then don’t have one….

I am of the opinion that just because you are married why bring a child into this world if you don’t think you will make a good parent?  Children are not some kind of unwanted Christmas present that you can give back because it doesn’t fit your lifestyle.

In a marriage (at least for me) issues like children (to have them or not) their discipline (a biggie) and spending equal quality time with them have caused many raucous fights. So, before you begin to face those questionable child-rearing years (well, at least for us women…after all the pressure tends to be mostly on us)….weigh your options early on to see if a child will fit your lifestyle.  Where do you see yourself ten years down the road….with the love of your life and sharing it with a child created in such love (or adopted) or remaining committed solely to each other and facing the future hand in hand as man and wife?

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